


Fireflowers

by HistoriaGloria



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Caduceus Clay, Asexual Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Queerplatonic Relationships, You can pry Asexual Caduceus from my cold dead hands, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 00:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HistoriaGloria/pseuds/HistoriaGloria
Summary: 'Caduceus Clay was a perceptive individual. This was undoubtedly, unquestionably true.'Caduceus may not be very well-versed in what goes on in the big, wide world outside of his graveyard, but he does know that he cares for Caleb Widogast fiercely. And, he cannot stand to see him hurt by his past.





	Fireflowers

**Author's Note:**

> So! Thought we could use a good bit of fluff after The Hell That Was Episode 55. *shakes fist at the dice gods*
> 
> I love Asexual!Caduceus a lot and also Caleb needs lots of hugs, so why not?
> 
> Set in the long journey up to Xhorhas because it fit well?
> 
> I hope you like it!

Caduceus Clay was a perceptive individual. This was undoubtedly, unquestionably true. However, as even the firbolg himself would admit, he often didn’t understand what he saw. He was naïve to this world and the cruelty that it so often displayed was somewhat confusing to him, as were the complexities of people.

The Mighty Nein, but especially Caleb, was helping a little with that.

It had taken Caduceus a very long time to understand what he felt for their resident wizard. He was drawn to him; desperate to protect him; to save him but he was never interested in sex. When he admitted his feelings to Jester through whispers over the campfire as they travelled together, the other cleric had squealed in joy and hugged him so tightly that Caduceus had been briefly afraid she had cracked his ribs.

Whilst Jester too was naïve, sex and sexuality was something she was well-versed in.

“You’re asexual, Cad!” she had said, tying short braids into his pink hair. “It’s nothing to be worried about; it’s completely normal. You can still fall in love and all that, you just won’t have sex with people and that’s totally fine.”

And, well, that had helped a lot.

It had still taken him nearly another week to pluck up the courage to talk to Caleb about his feelings for him and, it had surprised him that the wizard had felt similar.

“I am not, uh, asexual,” the wizard had said, his cheeks burning with a blush as they hid in the back of the cart away from the prying eyes of their travelling companions. “But it has been a long time since I have been, um, well, involved with anyone. And, and, and, I would, I think, I would like to try… something with you.” Caduceus had reached out then and Caleb had run his hands over the fur that resided across Caduceus’s arm, stimming with it lightly. “I like you.”

“I like you too,” the firbolg had rumbled in response and Caleb had flashed him a smile, small and almost playful as he had cuddled up to the other, not meeting his eyes.

And that had been six days ago.

Caduceus was not sure where his relationship with the wizard stood currently, but Caleb slept beside him in the hut these days and accepted gentle touches as long as he was aware that the firbolg was going to touch him. He was still skittish and nervous but Caduceus expected nothing less. That was who Caleb was. And, well, in these few days, a lot had come out about Caleb’s past. Beau and Jester had quietly filled him in on Trent Ikithon and who he was and what it meant to Nott and finding her husband because Caduceus really didn’t want to ask Caleb and drag it all up again. 

Caduceus was not a violent man but the very thought of Ikithon made his blood boil and his mind turn dark.

But, for now, The Mighty Nein were in the tunnels below Felderwin, travelling towards Xhorhas. Caleb had been quieter than usual and Caduceus was keeping a very careful eye on him.

Caduceus Clay was a very perceptive individual and he had never been more grateful for that than tonight.

It was the third day they had been travelling and Caleb’s hands had shaken as he erected Leomund’s Tiny Hut but no one but Caduceus seemed to notice it. They were tired and bored and when the firbolg offered to take first watch, there were no complaints. Caleb curled up maybe a foot away from him, Frumpkin sat beside him, his sharp fey-cat eyes fixed on the outside of the hut, watching. As the others settled down to rest, Caduceus gave a quiet prayer to the Wildmother.

_Please, Mother, let him rest, let him sleep easily._

But, of course, it could not be that easy. Not an hour and half into his watch, Caduceus’s sharp eyes picked up on movement from Caleb. The wizard’s face was twisted in fright and his hands were switching between clenched fists and tugging at his sleeves. The cleric shifted over immediately, closing the gap between them and reaching cautiously for his partner.

“Caleb? Fireflower?” The wizard was muttering in Zemnian, which Caduceus knew none of, but it sounded anguished and desperate. He reached out, brushing the hair out of Caleb’s face but he didn’t respond, other than whining out helplessly,

“Nein, nein, ich will das _NICHT_ , nein!”

“It’s okay, fireflower, it’s just me, you’re okay,” soothed Caduceus as he gently gathered the human to his chest, rocking him slightly. “Come on, Caleb, wake up, you’re okay.” Caleb didn’t fight him, but he didn’t respond either, whimpering and twitching helplessly.

“Nein… nein, bitte, nein…” he mumbled, pressed against Caduceus.

“Come on, fireflower, oh gods beyond the Gate, _Wildmother help him,_ come on, Caleb, wake up,” Caduceus half-begged, half-soothed as the Zemnian trembled in his arms. He was glad to note that none of the other members of their party seemed to have awoken at Caleb’s distress. The last thing he needed now was crowding. With a final sob, the wizard’s sharp blue eyes shot open and he lurched in Caduceus’s arms, almost banging heads with the firbolg.

“C-Cad, Caduceus?” Caleb managed to get out, his eyes damp with tears. The other just encircled him tighter with his arms.

“It’s okay, I’m here, fireflower, you’re safe.” The firbolg was immensely relieved to feel the wizard sag into his grasp, pressing his face into the other’s chest as he stroked his fingertips through the fur that resided on his neck. “You’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you…” Caleb sniffled slightly, nuzzling into Caduceus’s neck and he could feel the tears on his furred skin.

“Cad…” he managed to whisper and Caduceus slowly rubbed his thumbs against Caleb’s spine, which he knew was grounding for him.

“I am here,” he responded in his low rumbling voice as Caleb pressed ever closer, as though trying to hide. “It was a nightmare, fireflower. You are not there.” He felt, more than heard, the heavy sigh that Caleb gave against his clavicle. There was a long quiet for a few moments, punctuated only by the soft snores from the rest of the party and Caleb’s quiet sniffles.

Then Caleb spoke,

“… Thank you.” His voice was almost reverent and if it were not for Caduceus’s perceptive hearing, he would have missed it entirely.

“You… you are my partner,” he rumbled back, his voice barely loud enough to hear. “I care for you. I want you to be happy.” At that, Caleb gave a slightly dismissive snort and Caduceus amended his statement a little. “I want you to be safe. I want you to be okay.” The wizard leant back a little, reaching up to roughly dash away the tears on his face.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“It is not a question of what you do or do not deserve. I care for you and nothing will stop that. And, before you argue with me about this concerning what you may have done in your past, I know what has happened. It does not change this. I care about you because of who you are now, Caleb. You are my fireflower. Shy, but so bright and beautiful when you bloom.” As he spoke, Caduceus moved his hand up to Caleb’s cheek, engulfing most of his face in his large palm. Instinctively, the other leant into his touch, closed eyes, as he rubbed his rough beard against the soft texture of his palm.

“Cad, liebling…” he whispered, finally looking up to briefly meet the firbolg’s gentle gaze. “I… I care for you too.” That made Caduceus’s face crinkle into a wide smile as he bent down to press a reassuring kiss to the top of the wizard’s head.

“I am glad to hear that, fireflower. Now, come, you need to rest and I need to finish the watch.” Caleb was pliant beneath his soft touches as Caduceus rearranged himself and the other so that Caleb was curled up in his lap, blanket resting over the human’s lanky form. He turned into Caduceus’s body, resting his head on the base of his ribcage, well-supported by the firbolg’s sturdy, currently unarmoured chest.

“What if…” he managed before Caduceus shook his head.

“I will be here. Sleep now, Caleb. Sleep and may the Wildmother protect you from nightmares.” Caleb raised his head tiredly, his piercing blue eyes soft now.

“Good night liebling. Thank, thank you again.” He reached up carefully to kiss his cheek before he settled back down and began to drift back to sleep.

As gentle as ever, Caduceus traced Caleb’s jaw with his thumb, smiling as the wizard’s face relaxed into sleep.

“Good night, my beautiful fireflower. Thank you for caring about me.”

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. I am definitely still working on Zemnian Traveller, my plans for that fic just keep getting Longer and Longer so keep your eyes out for an update soon!


End file.
